My View on FinDom

Snipet from fet life

THE TRUE MEANING OF FINANCIAL DOMINATION....

Financial domination (also known as money slavery) is a fetish lifestyle, in particular a practice of DS, where usually a male submissive or money slave, pay pig human ATM, or cash piggie will give gifts and money to a financial female dominant (also known as money mistress, findomme, money domme).

The relation may often be accompanied by other practices of BDSM and Femdom, like humiliation, but there may be virtually no further intimacy between the individuals. The relationship between the 'slave' and the 'mistress' may take place solely via online communication, but it is not uncommon that the 'slave' may accompany his mistress while she is shopping and paying with his money.

Such a relationship between individuals may be similar to, yet clearly distinguishable from, relationships based on Total Power Exchange. In the latter one, the submissive may grant all his or her money saved and earned to the dominant, in addition with much more aspects of his or her autonomy, but it is not uncommon that both partners have an intimate relationship as well. The fetish of financial domination fetish should also be distinguished by Sugar daddy/Sugar babe-like relations between individuals, where the male may spend gifts and money to 'his' girl, without explicit elements of female domination.

Financial domination is a paraphilia stemming from a devotion of financial slavery or to be dominated in a financial way. Many pro-dommes and femdommes found this to be a natural extension for any professional dominatrix who is already being paid for fetish services, and began to exploit it with clients who shared her fetish. Some domme clients were aroused as much by giving money to a dominant woman, as they were by any fetishes they may have been coming to see her for. And, that she was indeed aroused from their financial worship.

ALSO:

Financial domination is a niche fetish that stems from a participant(almost always a man)'s desire to be controlled and to give financially. In most cases a dominant woman, usually called a financial dominatrix or FinDomme is on the receiving end of this financial submission.

The FinDomme is typically viewed by her submissive as a superior who should be served and praised.

This praise comes in the form of monetary payments or material gifts known as “tributes". The submissive in this relationship expects nothing in return. They enjoy the 'safety' of being controlled and take pleasure in knowing they've contributed to the life of their FinDomme.

Financial domination is about control, not sex. There is no sex involved in financial domination, as the FinDomme is considered superior while the submissive male is viewed as “unworthy.”

There are many things to consider, but those considerations have to be taken with a grain of salt because for every consideration, there is usually a way for the submissive to hide it. Here are a few things that have cropped up or I have seen:

Medical Issues that prevent safe play. A Sub can lie about this and you won't find out until you are in scene (I had an asthmatic pass-out during an online scene because she didn't tell me she was one and I wasn't able to catch the signals, that was a deal breaker)

Emotional Stability - I don't want a basket case but I do understand that many people in the scene are working though some emotional issues. This is why I use the term stability. If you have issues you want to work through, be up front about it so that as a Dom, we can help.

Financial Stability - Sorry, I don't need a Sub begging me for rent money.

Availability - The Sub should be available to be a Sub. 1 hour a week is great for tanning, not some much for a D/S relationship.

Equipment - I've done all my work online, so having a webcam and mic is a requirement. There are also some basic, inexpensive items that I required them to have. I don't expect them to spend hundreds of dollars or have a war chest of toys, but you need a few basic things.

Adequate Communication Skills - They should be able to write in a complete sentence and articulate their thoughts (though, as we all know, with self-explorations, sometimes it is hard to get it all down in words at first). Txt speech and poor grammar are issues for me (I had one Sub's first contact to me as an email solely consisting of: "u their?"

All this being said, I don't mind being friends with a submissive and hearing about their past, their issues, their friends, etc. There is a difference between a friendship and a therapist though.